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tolerate it

evermore (2020)

“tolerate it” is track five on Taylor’s ninth album, evermore (2020), which is known to be reserved for the most vulnerable song on each of her records. “tolerate it” details the continuous struggle of wanting love from someone who isn’t paying attention to anything you do for them.

Background and Lyrical Theme

Taylor explained in an interview with Zane Lowe for the 2020 Apple Music Awards that she got the inspiration for “tolerate it” after she had read the novel Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier during quarantine:

«When you watch a film or you read a book and there’s a character that you identify with, most of the time you identify with them because they’re targeting something in you that feels that you’ve been there. That’s why we relate to characters. When I was reading Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier I was thinking, ‘Her husband just tolerates her. She’s doing all these things, trying so hard to impress him and he’s just tolerating her the whole time.’ There was a part of me that could relate to that because at some point in my life I felt that way. So I ended up writing this song ‘tolerate it’ that’s all about trying to love someone who’s ambivalent.»

Taylor Swift

Production

Co-writer and producer Aaron Dessner told Rollig Stone in December 2020 how he wrote the songs’s instrumental:

«When I wrote the piano track to 'tolerate it,' right before I sent it to her, I thought, 'This song is intense.' It’s in 10/8, which is an odd time signature. And I did think for a second, 'Maybe I shouldn’t send it to her, she won’t be into it.' But I sent it to her, and it conjured a scene in her mind, and she wrote this crushingly beautiful song to it and sent it back. I think I cried when I first heard it. It just felt like the most natural thing, you know? There weren’t limitations to the process. And in these places where we were pushing into more experimental sounds or odd time signatures, that just felt like part of the work.»

Aaron Dessner

Live Performance

Taylor added “tolerate it” to the regular setlist for her sixth headlining tour, “The Eras Tour” (2023-2024). In May 2024, it permanently got cut after she re-arranged the show in order to fit in new songs from THE TORTURED POETS DEPARTMENT (2024).

Commercial Performance

Upon the release of evermore, “tolerate it” debuted and peaked at No. 45 on the Billboard Hot 100 chart.

Lyrics

[Verse 1]
I sit and watch you reading with your head low
I wake and watch you breathing with your eyes closed
I sit and watch you
I notice everything you do or don’t do
You’re so much older and wiser and I

[Chorus 1]
I wait by the door like I’m just a kid
Use my best colors for your portrait
Lay the table with the fancy shit
And watch you tolerate it
If it’s all in my head tell me now
Tell me I’ve got it wrong somehow
I know my love should be celebrated
But you tolerate it

[Verse 2]
I greet you with a battle hero’s welcome
I take your indiscretions all in good fun
I sit and listеn
I polish plates until they gleam and glistеn
You’re so much older and wiser and I

[Bridge]
While you were out building other worlds, where was I?
Where’s that man who’d throw blankets over my barbed wire?
I made you my temple, my mural, my sky
Now I’m begging for footnotes in the story of your life
Drawing hearts in the byline
Always taking up too much space or time
You assume I’m fine
But what would you do if I

[Chorus 2]
Break free and leave us in ruins
Took this dagger in me and removed it
Gain the weight of you then lose it
Believe me, I could do it
If it’s all in my head tell me now
Tell me I’ve got it wrong somehow
I know my love should be celebrated
But you tolerate it

[Outro]
I sit and watch you