Wood

The critical response to “Wood” was sharply divided, with the song’s deliberately outrageous sexual humor becoming its defining talking point. Some critics enjoyed the sheer audacity of Taylor leaning so openly into sexual innuendo: Stereogum described it as an example of her ability to turn “unhinged” ideas into pop, while The Independent called it the album’s “most outrageous” song. AllMusic also highlighted the track’s “instantaneous disco-pop hooks,” suggesting that beneath the jokes, the Max Martin/Shellback production had the immediate pop instincts associated with their earlier collaborations.

The more common criticism, however, was that the joke was stronger than the writing. The Guardian considered the penis metaphors a “clanging misstep,” arguing that images such as the “magic wand” and “redwood tree” were unusually weak coming from a songwriter known for sharper wordplay. The Washington Post similarly called “Wood” a “diabolically catchy” but misguided attempt at the raunchy humor associated with Sabrina Carpenter, while The A.V. Club argued that Taylor borrowed Carpenter’s cheeky-sexual approach without making it as charming or convincing.

Interestingly, the production itself received considerably more credit than the lyrics. The Los Angeles Times described “Wood” as a “kiddie-disco” track, while The Guardian noted its laid-back late-1970s disco influence; Rolling Stone was more generous, specifically praising the horn section for rescuing a song it otherwise considered lyrically gauche. The result was one of The Life of a Showgirl’s most polarizing tracks: its catchy groove and unapologetically sexual premise were difficult for critics to ignore, but whether that irreverence felt funny, liberating or simply awkward largely depended on how much they enjoyed Taylor playing with the raunchy pop persona.